I have read numerous books on pregnancy and in my opinion the best is ‘My Pregnancy Week by Week’. It shows the mothers progress, the baby’s and exactly what generally happens to the mother’s body at that time, what diet is best, what to avoid and what exercises is best done at the specific week. This one book has been my best guidance, of course apart from tips and advises from mothers and sister in laws. Nothing can beat first hand experience tips.

I have gained much more weight than I expected, but honestly it doesn’t affect me at all. I know I need this much fat and energy in me to help me go through the labor. I have water retention – on my face. How unfortunate for me! But I’m still not so bothered about it. I occasionally get water retention on my feet and it hurts a lot. The skin on my feet has hardened so much that its difficult to be massaged. But that’s ok, cause this too shall pass soon.

I know my tummy is BIG. The other day, during my nephew’s birthday party, I was walking and bumped into a little boy aged about 4 years old. My entire tummy was blocking my view and I didn’t know what laid beneath. Then onwards I knew I had to be more cautious and look down as I walk. So, I don’t really appreciate it when people tell me how small my tummy is, cause it is not, unless they are comparing me to other people’s tummy, which they shouldn’t.

Pregnancy is an individual experience.

I have been getting nervous lately. Not much thinking about the labor pain, or is it? I haven’t been sleeping well, I’m getting nightmares every night – which is supposedly normal during the third trimester. All the baby clothes has been washed, dried well, drawers lined with scented papers and the clothes are neatly arranged according to months. Not that there are a lot, but a few nice ones gifted by mum. Its just sitting there quietly waiting to be envelope the insyaAllah healthy and pretty baby girl.

Minor contractions has started, back pain is causing me to be less productive during the day and all I need is a good massage from the maid and sleep off for a good 1 hour every afternoon. Thank God for this luxury. This is the only reason I have for not minding not being able to work at the moment.

The one thing I wished I had done from the very stage of my pregnancy was to take a full pic of myself. Month 1-9, then make a scrap out of it. I’m not a pic person, so isn’t Fadhil. So I don’t have more than 5 pictures of me with a big tummy.

I’m really looking forward to end this pregnancy and start a new chapter. I hope I have my friend’s support and prayers. I’m waiting for a few of you to join me you know, like Shabeena and Jessy. Cepatla.. atleast I won’t look like an aunty sangat to your kids later.

Wish me luck..

This is Aamir Hamzah.  My second nephew. He is about 2 plus now and my…the things he says..amazing! Henna, Aman and Aamir come up with the wittiest and cutest things any child can say and its so hilariously funny you’d wish they would said it on televison!

Lately Aamir has been very expressive, his eyes, lips and face all move at the same time, expressing to the world about his feelings. Cute! And since these little coochies of mine have been so good with words, I thought I’d write it down somewhere so 10 years down the road I can show it back to them and have a good laugh about it.

During a cousin’s wedding, Fadhil wore a B.I shirt with some lined sowed-on design. Then came Henna and Aman, saying this :-

Aman: Phupha phupha…. phupha feeling hot is it? Why phupha tore phupha’s bajuuee??

Henna: Phupha so poor!… phupha’s baju all koyak koyak!

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Fadhil was telling Henna and Aamir about chinese horoscope and about the animal the year they worn in. I’m a pig by the way and Fadhil is a snake. So during dinner, Aamir was telling his dad about himself.

Aamir: Aamir dog papa..aamir dog!

Anu: You are a dog? How do you sound like?

Aamir: Wuff wuff. Aamir dog!

Anu: But you don’t have a tail.

Aamir: Got papa…. there (points somewhere down), its infront!

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My granma wears a saree, and the blouse is always a little short, giving away space for the skin. Little Shareef was standing behind her for a good 1 min without saying anything, just looking at her, and says this :-

Shareef: Same same!!! Nani samesameeeee!!

Nani: What same-same?

Shareef: Same same! There (points at his belly) nani same same!

same same -(shame-shame)

There are so many more… but my bod is telling me to hit the sack, I’ll probably continue again tomorrow..

But anyway, I am 32 weeks into my pregnancy now and enjoying every moment of it. The joy of this wait is so dashyat that I discovered I had some a lot of interest in embroidery. Oh yeah probably the other main reason for my lack of time in blogging was due to this. Embroidery.  I have done almost 4 things while waiting for my lil one to pop out.  1. A mini garden ribbon embroidery which is meant to be framed, 2. A baby blanket, 3. A lace with ribbon embroidery to be stitched somewhere, 4. A pillow case and now maybe another blanket. Fadhil says I’m crazy. Because I tend to do it from morning till evening continouosly at times and this screw’s my eyes and I will be so dead tired by 7pm.

I really lack interest in blogging I dont even now how to end this post. I’m considering deleting Flovez Verbose. Shall I ?

I have also put on some unwanted weight around some unwanted areas of my body. Not pretty. And the comments I get from close ones are just fantastic. Like yesterday, I went back to my mum’s house after a few days and my mum’s maid got a little shocked looking at my everygrowing body.

Kak Su : Eh, kenapa mak besar kamu zahara? Gemook!

Me : Dah 6 bulan kan..

Kak Su : Itu semua badan kamu ya? Depan belakang itu sungguh badan kamu ya? Bukan bajunya tebal?

Me: Bukan…

Kak Su : Ya Allah.. macam mana kamu zahara. 6 bulan kenapa mak besar sangat. Macam mana kamu tu ada 3 bulan lagi. Ya Allah….!!!!  Kamu jalan boleh ya? Tak jongkek jongkek? Besar ya… Besar banggat!!

Me : !@@##@$%$%^

So I’ve decided to join the gym – after delivery, after my pantang. Fadhil isn’t getting any smaller either. I’m starting to get nightmares about how huge is face is bloatting and horrible stuff like that. His brother gave him a piece of advice too for not making an effort to stay slim. So well, today I woke up early.. 5.45am! just so he goes to the gym. I slept all the way in the car and here I am, sitting outside waiting for him to be out, which might probably take another hour. Considering how late I usually wake up nowadays, I consider this a big sacrifice of my side for him. haha. But in comparison to whatever he does for me, this is nothing.

The gym is definately not a place where I will ever be comfortable in. I have never been to one except once when Fadhil was showing me around. But I just don’t see the point of paying to sweat. I’d rather go for long walks around the housing estate, or cycle, or swim. Not burn money to burn the fats. But this is something he and I don’t agree on. I guess, to each his own.

There is a whole lot of activity going on in there and people do seem happy. Happy to be in an environment where they have to sweat. I don’t see anyone talking to each other. I see a few ladies in some very nice excersizing gear, some very buffed-up gym instructors, I can’t see Fadhil from where I’m sitting, the cleaners are busy cleaning, its 8.08am now and at least 13 people have left the gym with a healthy pink glow on their faces and some people are sipping away coffee on the upper floor, obviously done with their daily regime.

But….all I want to do is get back home and hit the sack!

We spoke about many things, mainly about how life is treating all of us now. It may seem bitter now, but I believe there will be a lot of sweetness later. Thats what my brother told me during my earlier stage of pregnancy. I used to complain to him about the bitterness in my mouth and that every food I eat taste bitter. He just told me to hang on, cause the bitterness now is only because there will be a lot of sweetness later, insyaAllah.

I take that same advice and apply it to my everyday life, in hopes and believe that at the end of all this problems there will be a lot of happiness along with with many people to share our joy. My current hope is my baby, that may He or She bring so much light and life into this house and that everything will fall into its place.

I gained a fair bit of advice from MIL today. Some of which she says is :

1. Allah dah tentukan Qada dan Qadar, tapi kita mesti tahu apa yang baik untuk kita dalam hidup dan selalu cuba buat yang terbaik dengan niat yang bersih. Ada 2 jalan Allah beri, pilih yang mana betul. Ini akan tentukan hidup kita masa depan.

2. Lima-lima jari kita lain. Tapi itu semua jari kita sendiri, betul? Sama macam anak. Anak-anak kita semua pe’el (perangai) lain, tapi semua darah kita, anak sendiri. Jadi apa juga jadi dalam hidup, kita mesti mahu adil dengan anak.I kept staring at all my 5 fingers when she said that. Boy, it made so much sense.

3. Jangan sekali-kali hutang sama orang. Alhamdullilah selagi kita ade rezeki, kita harus beri sama orang, jangan ambil.

Well, there were many more, these are some of which I remember very clearly.

Sometimes life can be very nice and sweet, offering us whatever we want, and sometimes it can be very harsh. Just tawakkal and believe that everything that happends is for a good reason.Bitterness now and sweetness later.

What to do….. Life is like this.

I wonder if I’m among those women who go through emotional roller-coaster during pregnancy. Or is this is a fairly phase to go through?

I’m puzzled. Even I can figure out myself at times. Imagine the headache Fadhil has to go through everyday.

Sometimes I’m so happy.

Sometimes I’m so sad.

Sometimes I laugh.

Sometimes I want him so much.

Sometimes I don’t want him at all.

Sometimes I ….

Sigh….

I wish I can figure out myself….

I have been meaning to write about my first year anniversary but I haven’t had the time to transfer the pics from the cam. So, I thought I’d put it on hold until I get the pictures. But I can’t wait any longer! So this post might need some imagination on my first year wedding anniversary…..

I had always imagined my anniversary to be very quaint. Celebrated by Fadhil and me on the roof top of our house with candles decorating the night, a simple yet special home made gourmet made by yours truly and we’d end the night by watching our wedding and honeymoon video (which is yet to be watched by us!).

I was planning this the entire week, I even thought I’d decorate the room with jasmine flowers. Then one night, Fadhil suggested we spend our anniversary weekend in Langkawi. I jumped at the idea! That would have been much better and definalty more romantic! I said yes and he immediatly got down to do the bookings.

Fadhil booked us a room in Westin , Langkawi. We were welcomed by 2 sounds of gongs as we entered and were led to the waiting area. There we were served with cold towels and a nice drink of iced..something. I couldn’t figure out what drink it was. The service was very good and the people there were very smily and friendly. I’m sure its hard work keeping that smile from morning to evening while having to deal with a bunch of funny crazy people. Westin it seems has recieved an award for excellent service. A well deserved award I should say.

Our room was perfect! A lil bay window overlooking the hotel garden, an ideal bathroom and an extreamly cozy bed. The moment I lay my head on the pillow, I snoozed of for a good 1 hour.

The day we arrived, was the same day as earth hour. He wanted to eat out, I wanted to be back in the hotel to experience the earth hour ambiance. Guess who won? We both did. We went off to Pantai Cenang, had a heartily dinner, packed another nasi goreng for my mid night/mid morning snack and some fried ice cream and dashed back to the hotel. We made it back there with exectly 10mins to spare. I had enough time to take some pics with the candles and just lazy around in the dardkess. It was a pretty time to experience.

And the next day….

We spend our 29th March 2009 mainly on the boat. We took a 6 hour tour going to bat cave, crocodile cave, charcoal factory, eagle feeding, mangroove and a good lunch. Thank God I got ourselves a SPF130 sunblock. We didn’t get burnt at all! Haha…We went back feeling really tired. I so wanted to unwind in the bathtub for the next 6 hours!

Then we got back to the hotel… Now this is when the suprise begins…

I opened the door and I saw our bathtub was filled with rose petals, orchids and other flowers! I became estatic!!! I have always wanted to soak myself in such a tub and this was the perfect moment. There were more orchids around the bathroom and it really made the place look very very pretty! Fadhil then led me to the room..

There was a pail with a champange bottle (but ofcourse non-alcoholic!), a box of chocolated and a plate full of fruits! I was gleeming in joy! It was perfect. A perfect way to end a perfectly tiring day. Evrything went on better than planned from then onwards and we both handed each other our gitfs. It was truly a wonderful 1st year anniversary.

It was our first of forever….

The next day we went around town buying chocolates and sotong for relatives. Fadhil drove around to find the best restaurant to end our trip, and he didn’t fail. Guess what happend when I walked out of the car to enter the restaurant? One of the cooks who happen to be standing by the mango tree asked if I wanted to eat some kicap mango! OFCOURSEEEE!!!!!! How can I ever say no to kicap mango? He made the best chillie kicap and I was already full before lunch. It was definatly the best in my life. The restaurant was really nice. It rests just beside the sea and we had the whole place to ourselves. Whithout shame I asked the cook to prepare me another kicap mango for tapau. He didnt give me just one, but another 4 mangoes!!!

I had a time of my life in Langkawi.. and still am. Thanks to, you know who

My baby’s nail’s are fully developed now, arms are still longer than the legs, eyes are not as apart anymore, the chin does now rest below the neck anymore, baby has started to suck it’s thumb, yawn and do disco dancing in me. Not that I feel it, but I’ve seen it during my ultra-sounds. Amazing isn’t it? So much life in a tiny winy baby who has yet to see the colors or the world. Simply amazing……

I can’t believe I’m more than half way through this pregnancy. Now the question is, will it be a girl or a boy? Most people have guessed it as ‘girl’. Why? Some say because my bump looks more rounded instead of sharp and some say because I look nice? fresher? Whatever it may be, boy or girl… He or she will be my first born, my eldest child and its the guidance that we give  that is most important. I really hope Fadhil and I will be as good parents as our parents have been to us.